I am so thankful that God sent me a woman early in my spiritual growth, before we left for seminary, to display for me how to serve like a Mary. She can pull off the big events, but she also graciously pulls off the last minute invitation for a meal that her husband spontaneously makes to approximately a dozen people. Can you image? It is Sunday evening at 7:00 p.m. You have already cooked a Sunday meal for your family and guests, gone to church twice, and now you have to feed a dozen people at your home with no warning. I can tell you that my tendency is to be very, very mad at Dwayne and to run around like crazy trying to clean up, throwing things in a closet or barred room and praying that God would help me figure out how I am going to feed all these people. I can also tell you that if Dwayne is not working as hard as I am, he will be listening to a ranting wife. This woman was not like this. She focused on the fellowship. She didn’t care if her house wasn’t perfect because her house was always presentable. She took out paper plates, made tea, and pulled out leftovers and sandwich stuff from the refrigerator. She always had something in the freezer for moments like this if she didn’t have enough leftovers or lunchmeat. She was completely calm. She was focused on the relationships, not a grand presentation. She was prepared, not running around crazy trying to figure out what to do. She was welcoming, not making her guests feel like an inconvenience. She didn’t seek to draw attention to herself but just served in the background. On top of that she was still smiling at her husband. She lived out an example of a Proverbs 31 woman in front of many young women. Today this woman is still serving others in the same manner. She has been apart of our church, Fusion, for several years and every week she makes dozens of cookies for Sunday morning. She is always prepared and yet I have never heard her complain, never heard her demand help, never seen her drop the ball. She ministers through her cookies every week and she does so graciously.
Through her example in my life I have learned to not sweat the small stuff quite so much. I have learned to not allow myself to get all worked up but to focus on loving my guest and to remember that it will all work out. I have reluctantly learned that I am more like Martha than I want to be. I don’t want to go about gripping about all the work and focusing on making everything perfect according to some ridiculous standard I have set out. I want to stay off the Martha soapbox asking the question, “Do you think this will all just happen? It takes work and I need help!!!” No, I want to be a Mary. I want to choose relationships and to be in the presence of the Lord. Jesus said, when we choice the Mary method we make the best choice. Lord, help me to make the best choice each and every day.
But Martha (overly occupied and too busy) was distracted with much serving; and she came up to Him and said, Lord is it nothing to You that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me (to lend a hand and do her part along with me)! But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things. There is need of only one or but a few things. Mary has chosen the good portion (that which is to her advantage), which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:40-42 (Amplified)
P.S. Great book for all the Martha’s. How To Be A Mary in a Martha World
2 comments:
Tonya... You and Dwayne have meant more to me over the years than you know. Even though we haven't physically seen each other in a long time, I think of your willingness to be both a Martha and a Mary in my life and the lives of so many others. I think sometimes it is so
etimes in meeting those practical Martha needs, that we find the opportunities to have those real Mary connections. You and Dwayne are so gifted to be able to see and willing to share in those honest moments. In doing that everyone is blessed!!!! Isn't it wonderful to be on both the giving and receiving end in those circumstances??? And God is both glorified and pleased when we are obedient to His call to be intimately involved with His people. I thank you for those times when you have reached out to me and done just that. With much love and appreciation, Kathy
I had a revelation this summer. I was rushing around cleaning and picking up and being generally unkind to my family because my brother and his wife were stopping by to drop something off on there way through town. My sister in law is a lovely person. a believer. and so is my brother now. And her house is PERFECT all the time. I mean you could eat off of her floor. I have never seen a mess. I have never seen anything but complete organization and cleanness. She has strict rules for her kids. They are always clean and well dressed. It makes me nervous to take my family to her house. My kids have a tendency to make messes. :) So this summer I was rushing around and it hit me....I never want anyone to feel this way about me when I come to visit them....nor do I want anyone to ever feel on edge when they come to my home. I stopped the frantic clean up right there and then. I am not obsessive compulsive and I refuse to pretend to be so for my SIL or anyone else. I will not give into someone else's unrealistic standards and expectations. I will love others for who they are and hope that they will do the same for me!
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