In the New Testament only agape and philia is used in the Greek language. When you see the word love, you need to research to see which Greek word is being translated.
Looking at 1 John 4: 7-8… "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
The word for love in this verse is agape. We are told to unconditionally love others and the only way we can, is to love as God does. It is a sign of our salvation. It still takes work though because we have to choose to let God flow through us instead of letting our fleshly desires flow through us. We probably have heard all of this before, but the question is what does unconditional love look like in our day to day life. In reality it means that you will love someone regardless if they change or not. Applying it to husbands; it means you will love him regardless if he ever becomes more loving, picks up his socks, becomes the spiritual leader you want him to be, or if he ever remembers your birthday.
Applying it to your children; you love them regardless if they ever say thank you, clean their room, do the dishes, clean the house, or remember your birthday.
Applying it to your friends; it means that regardless of their behavior, their attitudes, their way of doing things, their hurtful words, their lack of attention, you will always love them. Unconditional love does not focus on feelings or a deserving recipient. It is more than a feeling, more than an action, more than an attitude: it is a choice. It is choosing to allow God to love someone through us. It is not about us. It is totally about God and the recipient. It is the truest form of surrendering!
The question to ask is not, “how is your love life?” The question we need to ponder is, “how is your agape life?”