Tuesday, December 7, 2010

What Do I Leave Behind?

     Between writing on Psalms 23 and Christmas, I haven’t written about me in weeks. I have been to Ft. Worth twice to see my granddaughter (Oh, and of course to see my son and daughter in-law too)! As much as I hate to admit it, each day (if not every hour) is full of ‘Tonya blunders’. One of the things that fall into this category is that I have a tendency to leave things behind. Yesterday, Brittne left for a work trip and she stood at the door and verbally ran through what she needed to take to make sure she had everything. I usually do not have time for that. I might pack a week early but when it is time to leave, I look around and grab everything I see I need to take with me, and out the door I go. That is why, on both of my last two trips to Ft Worth, I left a single shoe and they weren’t even to the same pair. When they brought my shoes to me from Texas (along with a few other things), I heard the same old saying I have heard my entire life, “Only you would or could do this!”
     Another event happened in the last few weeks . . . I turned 50! I am still in shock. However, turning 50 and becoming a grandmother has made me do a lot of pondering about life. The average lifespan is 75 years of age. If that average is true for me, I have only a third of my life left to live. As my mind was juggling my new age, my new role, and my lack of ability to keep up with my stuff, it produced a whopper of a question for me. What do I want to leave behind? I am afraid that what I unintentionally leave behind me is not what I want to be remembered for. How I wish I could turn back time and do it all over again! However, I bet my flesh would mess it all up no matter how many times I took a retake.
      So, my only choice is to start becoming more conscious of what I am leaving behind. Every day matters! Every moment matters! Every encounter matters!
Do I leave behind turmoil – or peace?
Do I leave behind bitterness – or forgiveness?
Do I leave behind conflict – or contentment?
Do I leave behind frustration – or joy?
Do I leave behind judgment – or grace?
Do I leave behind foolishness – or wisdom?
Do I leave behind hate – or love?
Do I leave behind me – or Jesus?
     Our choices determine our legacy. What imprint are you going to make on the hearts you leave behind?

You are the light of the world.  . . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14, 16

1 comment:

Steph said...

These are tough questions. Of course we all want to leave behind peace, forgiveness, love, ect. We get the chance everyday to change these things or work on them. I guess it is time to start!!